Dating Games, Part 8

Andreas Ortmann
7 min readMay 7, 2023

Previously, … I told you about Northern-Beaches beauties and dingbats with dictaphones and how dating can bring one to parts of Sydney one never saw (Manly!) or rarely visits (Chatswood! Newtown!) I also mentioned how difficult it can be to cut through the crap & deception, or at least economy with truth writ large, that seem to come with the territory. Plus, I mentioned that the asynchronous nature of the dating game invites confusing expectations, … and potentially conflicted interpretations …

I also told you about my excursion to Brizzy, in — an apparently vain — search for the one. And I told you about the audition that I sadly failed, or so it seemed. I also told you that the self-anointed dreamgirl in Newtown did not quite live up to her billing. (Still, best octopus salad in years and the rosé was to die for. That counts for something, no?)

And I told you about the curious phenomenon of prospects connecting through likes, and even kind comments, but then not following up, and occasionally liking/commenting with huge delays. It’s a funny game, that dating game. Very asynchronous.

[Some facts below may be fictitious, for the sake of the narrative! ;-)]

Executive summary:

Now at 22 Samsung Notes files, about to start numbers 23 and 24, and might explore other parts of NSW, and maybe Melbourne, too. Lucy is waiting she says, maybe with some diamonds in the sky?! Made a couple of friends along the way, and have met one prospect now several times. Another outing this arvo (NSW Arts Galley) and evening (B-Movie: Lust & Sound in West-Berlin 1979–1989), with light dinner thrown in for good measure between. Lig.

I had a couple of additional prospects contact me last week, out of nowhere. Some kattttt wants to meet me. Asian, ave, 57, Parramatta. One picture, severely under-developed. Her perfect match — “Must be generous Loves cats Knows how to cook Kind Good manners”. Hmmmh. Don’t think so.

Last Sunday met the “smart, sweet and sexy” woman that lives nearby. Had dinner at Malabar, practically around the corner from where she lives …. quite enjoyable and relaxed it was. She sent me a lovely note afterwards. Not sure we are ideally matched alas … stay tuned …

Remember the allegedly Christian lady whose audition I sadly failed, it seemed? Well, this — given her considerable investment in the missives s/he e-mailed—caught me by surprise:

Hi Andreas,

Unfortunately, someone who contacted you — “smilenlu”, age 56 from Bellevue Hill — has been removed from [platform] on suspicion of acting with fraudulent intent. To stay safe, stop all communication with this person — and remember: never send money or financial information to anyone you meet online.

If you’ve already sent money or banking details, then please contact your bank immediately — or in the case of gift card payments, the company who issued the card. You should also reset any passwords you may have shared.

Why am I receiving this email?

Online dating sites are sometimes targeted by so-called “romance scammers”. These are con artists who adopt fake identities and build up very convincing online relationships with their targets. Then, after some time, they make up a story and ask for money.

We work around the clock to keep scammers away — but unfortunately, anyone who is able to commit identity theft can also falsify a dating profile.

Scammers may try to trick you into not trusting this email. If you have any doubts or questions then please contact our Customer Success Team.

How to identify scammers …

Hmmmh. Didn’t see that coming.

Also got a message from that rather attractive petit woman of middle-Eastern background (I guess) that cancelled pre-Easter because she had to pick up, and entertain, her sisters and felt a bit overwhelmed. Her pictures (of which she has posted half a dozen no less) have time-stamps, which should be the norm.

(She) Hello. How’s [platform] going for you?

(Me) Good morning, [Name]. Nice to hear from you. Interesting question. It’s been a mixed bag. For all I can tell [platform] is not all bad; I also signed up with [another platform] but within a couple of weeks decided that that was not worth it and cancelled the subscription. Before I met my last partner (of seven some years), I had used and eHarmony and they were ok. How about you?

(She) Hi hope you’re finding someone nice. It’s not easy going on dating sites. I myself find it difficult coz I have to repeat myself all the time. I’m very slow meeting up. I guess I’m very careful who I want to meet and don’t give my phone number out easily. It would be nice to meet someone nice and genuine and finding love again.

(Me) Yes, it’s quite the wild west out there. I actually decided to write about it soon after I realized what an interesting, and sometimes troubling, game it is. You might find it interesting reading:

And about being careful, yes, just this morning (I am back in the office in the wee hours), I got a message from [platform] alerting me to the fact that someone I have been in touch with, has been banned from the platform because they are allegedly a scammer. They presented themselves as a God-fearing Christian.

I do find you intriguing (and attractive, too) and would love meeting you in person. Here’s to a good friday and weekend, [Name].

More communications followed and meeting we shall. Downtown, the week after next. Quite intrigued by this one.

I also was contacted by a widowed woman, “made in Shanghai” some 50 some years ago. Another of these seemingly dormant prospects that suddenly contacted me out of nowhere. Quite the eye-candy, at least according to the (undated) photos. Switched quickly to phone contact and a day later had dinner in a Thai place in McMahons Point. Pleasant enough dinner, conversation, and excursion.

Took the ferry home because — this being a Saturday — trains weren’t, once again, running. As to the posted photos, they were less fresh than the food …

I also followed up last week with my hotshot of a neighbor, who has been in the dating game for ages, about her recent exploits.

(Me) Looks like your neighbors do some serious reno, no?

Catch up today around 4ish?

(She, hours later) Omg, I just realised I never got back to you


Was a bit hung over this morning

My gf is coming over so won’t make it

(Me) That’s fine, I figured it would not work so started drinking at 3 …

(She) I got shit faced with the guy who doesn’t drink


(Me) I had no doubt that was not going to work out …

Right now it looks as if Dating Games 8 will be a stunner.

Signing off now since battery is low

(She, responding to my suggestion the non-drinking guy was not going to work out … ) He’s still asking me out

(Me) Guy wants to get into your pants clearly

(She) Obviously

Who wouldn’t


(Me) Hear here!

(She) Lol

I might still be drunk

(Me) Gotta leave now, below 10 percent battery …


Talk tomorrow


On the equally funny side, that ridiculous website that I cancelled within weeks after signing up for it, just matched me with Franco, 65, Port Macquarie. I have to say, a veritable hunk he is. Visualize Omar Sharif slightly past his prime. Ladies, don’t fall over each other in your rush … (and don’t worry about me — you can have him).

And this wraps up yet another week in my exciting life beyond administering tests, dealing with student complaints and queries, and marking, marking, marking, and more marking. Oh, and editorial decisions and an honours thesis review.

Consider making your opinion known by applauding, or commenting, or following me here, or on Facebook.

Dating Games, Part 7. Previously, … I told you about… | by Andreas Ortmann | Apr, 2023 | Medium

Dating Games, Part 6 (post-Easter edition) | by Andreas Ortmann | Apr, 2023 | Medium

Dating Games, Part 1. “Anye impietie may lawfully be… | by Andreas Ortmann | Mar, 2023 | Medium

Dating Games






Andreas Ortmann

EconProf: I post occasionally on whatever tickles my fancy: Science, evidence production, the Econ tribe, Oz politics, etc. Y’all r entitled to my opinions …