Dating Games, Part 3

Andreas Ortmann
4 min readMar 17, 2023

“This is proof that dreams do come true,” said Yeoh, the 60-year-old Malaysian-born, Hong Kong-trained star.

“And ladies, don’t ever let anybody tell you that you’re past your prime.”

Not much to add there. What a remarkable woman she is. (Confidential to Michelle: I’m available! ;-))

Previously, … I told you about Northern Beaches beauties and dingbats with dictaphones and how dating can bring one to parts of Sydney one never saw (Manly!) or rarely visits (Chatswood!). I also mentioned how difficult it can be to cut through the crap & deception, or at least economy with truth writ large, that seem to come with the territory. Plus, I mentioned that the asynchronous nature of the dating game invites all kinds of potentially conflicting expectations, … and interpretations …

[Some facts below may be fictitious, for the sake of the narrative! ;-)]

That woman in Chatswood that I talked with on the phone, and that seemed eager to meet, is she really that heavy under the weather as she claimed after canceling meetings twice at short notice? (We have kept in touch via sms and she expressed her need for some “looooooong awaited TLC”, which I volunteered to provide.) Stay tuned.

And what about that mysterious woman who expressed interest weeks after I expressed mine and then even asked for my number but has yet to call? Stay tuned there, too.

It’s a funny game that matching game.

To repeat from a previous episode: You can’t hurry love, or whatever it is you want to hurry. Everyone is busy with their lives and presumably other EoIs. You just gotta let the chips fall where they may.

Before you read on, let me warn you. This is a “puerile blog” in one esteemed reader’s opinion. The same reader wrote:

May I also suggest you don’t lampoon women who show interest in you for the amusement of your friends? Isn’t there an implicit understanding that dating site conversations are private?

Not that I know. Plus, I carefully anonymize conversations and take the liberty to edit chat protocols for the sake of the narrative. The whole point of the exercise is to share some first-hand experiences in a two-sided market that has long attracted the attention of economists and psychologists alike. And if you do not like my take on this market (with way too many lemons and cheaters on both sides), then just abstain from reading my blog.

Fortunately, other people felt differently, seem encouraged by my blog, and appreciate it. This is a former lover, and dear friend, writing:

Inspired by your dating stories, I am inspired to go back to those apps. I have been seeing someone for a while — but I know he is not right for me and I know I should renew my search for true love (what an optimistic person I am), but I have been postponing.

I also had early dinner with a neighbor the other evening — we regularly do — and we were comparing notes … She has been in the dating market way longer than I have. She’s a couple of decades younger than me but reports …

She: in general that dating apps at my age are the saddest thing ever

Me: I see. And am surprised. I figured at your age they would be ideal.

She: There’s a lot of trash in the ocean

Probably more than fish

Me: True that. That sure applies for me, too. See my 2nd installment about damaged goods.

She: So you can imagine that at my age there’s even more crap. My favourite at this age bracket is married but it’s not going well so I’m seeing what’s out there (even though I’ve had to connect those dots)

And the middle aged over-weight men is a majority too

Apart from that it was a busy week in the office that allowed only for so much participation in the dating game.

I did see the woman I met for coffee in Chatswood again. For Italian dinner in Chatswood; it was quite enjoyable.

Next outing coming up this weekend. Not in Chatswood, as it looks.

I also met the woman with the intriguing pictures that wanted a coffee date in a quiet (public) place. And that’s what we had — a coffee at the shed cafe in the Randwick Village Shopping Center last Friday, my first visit there since ten years ago my second ex and I signed the divorce papers upstairs. Another meeting is in the books here, too. (Be patient, E! Too much curiosity killed the cat!)

Before that though another first meeting at another shopping center with another prospect this weekend;-) and then a trip up to Brizzy …

I previously noted that the Remove option of my preferred site is not much of a help since it does not remove EoIs that you want removed for good. I noted that at first I thought that was a bug but I now believe it is a feature of that particular site. My coffee date in the Randwick Village Shopping Center suggested that I had to Report and Block choosing Not interested from the drop-down menu. Tried it. It does not work reliably. Importantly that very same platform manages to lose messages. Which, may or may not be a ruse to entice you to sign up for the Read option, an add-on designed to increase their profits. Not sure that is a good strategy on their part. Because it sure makes people like me to want to drop out. Wtaf.

Talking about functionality, on the other site that woman psychologist who cancelled me without me being able to answer her queries, now shows up again. Hmmmh. We really seem to match on many dimensions well. Alas, …

That’s entertainment!

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Andreas Ortmann

EconProf: I post occasionally on whatever tickles my fancy: Science, evidence production, the Econ tribe, Oz politics, etc. Y’all r entitled to my opinions …